maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Can I color on your dick again?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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