Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
