dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
