The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Floor bacon is actually really good
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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