Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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