Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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