it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
