Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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