I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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