So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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