need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is not my ceiling
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
