ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
