DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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