Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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