Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i believe in u and ur pee
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
