God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
God, I missed his penis.
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