we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
