Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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