yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
