we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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