He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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