dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
