Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
