dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
