Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
