Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
