just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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