Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
