Its about making memories worth repressing
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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