I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
