No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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