Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
