well you can't waste a boner
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
