I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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