Four minutes until I can fart!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
