so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
