I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
