somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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