Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
