And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
