Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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