The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My Higher Power is John Stamos
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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