brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
