we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
