Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize