no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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