Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
