I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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