I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I need a burrito and a hug.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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