I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
