What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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