So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am available for nakedness
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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