i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
are you so shy because you have an std?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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