and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
