So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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