Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
