dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
