i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
