I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
