part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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