let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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