You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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