I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize